Who You'd Be Today
by xxslashmindedxx
Summary: Ethan dealing with Aiden's death. He's lost. Aiden is gone. His twin is gone. He is all alone. Only he's not. Derek is there. Lydia is there. The Pack reminds him he isn't alone. Warning: tear-jerker. I had to stop typing many times because my vision blurred crying. Tribute to Aiden. Inspiration from the song Who You'd Be Today by Kenny Chesney


**I don't know about anyone else but I was crying my eyes out when Aiden died in last nights episode. :( then driving to school today "Who You'd Be Today" by Kenny Chesney came on and my idea for this fic came through. Hope you guys enjoy. RIP Aiden :( And no worries I will still continue writing fics as if he never died I just thought I would try my hand at this. **

**Warnings: Character death, interference by DCF, self-destructive behavior, swearing, a distraught teen wolf and his 20-something werewolf legal Gaurdian trying to help. **

Danny was shocked to see Ethan in school the day after their break-up. Wasn't he going to leave? Danny had to find out, just because they weren't dating didn't mean he didn't care about the werewolf. He just couldn't keep acting as if he wasn't a werewolf, he had done it for too long.

"Ethan?" Danny asked, coming up behind him.

"Hey," Ethan said dejectedly, slamming his locker shut and turning to face his ex.

"I thought you were leaving?"

"I was. Until someone decided to get DCF of my case. Thank you very much Agent Asshole McCall," he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. At Danny's confused look he continued explaining, "Well he found it suspicious after Aiden died to find out that we don't have any parents. Which lead to the question of what two sixteen year olds were doing on their own in this town. He dug up that our family died and we ran away."

Danny nodded understandingly, he knew that part, while it wasn't totally the truth, they had actually run from their pack after their dad was killed, but they couldn't tell Agent McCall that.

"So wait, they are putting you in foster care?" Danny asked incredulously.

Ethan shook his head, "Nah. They were going to but Derek stepped up, and I mean literally, got in McCall's face practically snarling, saying that he would take me and that they couldn't just drop me with some foster family. McCall agreed eventually, mostly because he's scared shitless of Derek."

"So you're staying?" Danny asked with a smile. Ethan nodded, smiling back although it didn't quite reach his eyes.

He didn't want to stay. It was too painful, coming to school this morning was near impossible, especially knowing that Aiden died in the upper parking lot.

"With Derek?" Danny clarified, with a bemused smile on his lips. Ethan rolled his eyes, "Yeah wish me luck with that," he mumbled sarcastically. Danny was just about to respond when the bell rang.

"Um I'll see you at lunch then?" Danny asked. Ethan was shocked but just nodded. He didn't think Danny would want anything to do with him anymore. Danny waved and took off the other way.

Ethan smiled softly, a little more real this time. If Danny at least wanted to be friends it might make staying a tiny bit more bearable. He slowly made his way to first period, it was Math, and now that he didn't have Aiden he would actually have to take it...

He stopped that thought instantly as his chest ached at the thought of his older brother. He took a deep breath and pushed his way into the class, slightly relieved at the sight of Isaac in the back pointing to the seat right beside him.

"Hey," Isaac greeted softly. Ethan just nodded so Isaac continued, "How ya holding up?" He genuinely seemed to care, he might not have been Aiden's biggest fan but he could sympathize with Ethan, he knew exactly what it was like to lose an older brother.

"I'm breathing," Ethan muttered cynically opening the text book that he hadn't used at all this year, "Although this class might change that," he continued with a groan. He was so screwed, he really should just drop it.

"I'll tutor you. You'll catch up in no time," Isaac told the younger beta. Ethan chuckled. "You have no idea what you just signed up for. There was a reason I took Aid- uh his English class and he took math for me," Ethan stuttered over his older brother's name. He just couldn't do it yet, he felt tears well up in his eyes and he cleared his throat, looking anywhere but at Isaac.

Isaac just put a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezed before pulling back and turning his attention to the front of the room where the teacher had started talking.

* * *

Derek jerked awake as Ethan's howl tore through the loft. He leapt out of bed and headed for Ethan's room down the hall.

Peter's room was between them and Peter met him in the hall, following after him as Derek ran to the teen's side when the howl turned to him screaming for Aiden. The Hales got into the room and swore a part of them broke for the distraught teen.

Ethan was thrashing around in his sleep, calling for his brother, tearing streaming down his cheeks.

Derek's rushed to restrain him as his claws came out and started tearing at his clothes and bed. He got his arms around the younger beta and caught his wrists. Peter grabbed his legs as he kicked out violently.

"Ethan! ETHAN!" Derek yelled in his ear, eyes flashing blue and asserting his dominance over the smaller male. Ethan finally jerked awake. His eyes searched the room wildly, "Aiden?" He whimpered.

He sounded so broken Derek didn't want to remind him of the reality, but he didn't have a choice. "No it's me Ethan. It's Derek," the older male said, letting the younger go.

Peter took this as his cue to let go of Ethan's legs and exit the room. Derek watched Ethan's carefully as he remembered and his face crumpled, tears starting again.

Derek just reached out and pulled the teen against his chest, Ethan lost it and started sobbing on his gaurdian's shoulder. Derek just held him and rubbed his back gently, comforting him but not spurting out nonsense about it being okay, Derek had been where Ethan was and he knew it wasn't okay.

Eventually Ethan drifted back into a fitful sleep, Derek gently laid him back on the bed and got up to leave, only to hear the young wolf whimper. Derek sighed, knowing that Ethan's wolf was reacting to his own wolf leaving, so instead he pulled the chair from the corner of the room over to the bed and gently ran his fingers through Ethan's hair a few times to assure him he wasn't going anywhere.

* * *

Two months went by and Ethan still barely talked to anyone else in the pack. He was polite and spoke to Derek when the situation required it. He accepted Isaac's help in math, only responding if he needed to. Scott and Stiles tried to talk to him but he declined any offers to hangout.

Danny tried to get him to talk about almost anything, avoiding the topic of Aiden, but Ethan only gave him one word answers at best.

Lydia spent a lot of time with him, siting with him at lunch and dropping by the loft to visit him, he didn't mind, she is the only one who never tried to make him talk, they just enjoyed the silence and comfort each other's presence brought.

He had taken to going to the Jungle most nights. Drinking so much that even being a werewolf he got drunk. He would dance with random guys and hook up with them in the bathroom. Sometimes topping, sometimes bottoming, with protection or not it didn't matter to him, he just gave himself over to the alcohol and sex induced haze, it took away the pain in his chest, even if it was just temporary.

His grades started to slip, and even with Isaac's help there was no way he was going to pass math for the year. Agent McCall came around the the loft checking in and it set Derek off. After that Derek was on his case about where he was all the time, even giving him a curfew.

Ethan fought it at first until one night Derek caught him before he was able to sneak out and they got in a huge fight, first just verbal, then physical. Derek didn't make any moves offensively, just defending himself and letting the teen get all his anger and pain out without hurting him too much.

Eventually Ethan tired himself out and stopped fighting. Just dropped to his knees breathing heavily, arms wrapped around himself as if to hold himself together, to prevent him from falling apart.

"Why are you doing this to yourself Ethan? You know he wouldn't want this for you! Getting drunk and random hook-ups? That's not you! He would want you to finish high school and make something of your life, not waste it! He loved you and wanted the best for you, you're acting like it doesn't matter, liked he died for nothing instead of protecting you!" Derek lectured him, watching as Ethan fell apart right before his eyes. He felt guilty but the teen needed to hear it.

"I'm sorry. It-it just makes the pain go away for a little while," the teen answered brokenly. Tears falling down his face and he angrily wiped them away.

"There's more productive ways to take the pain away Ethan. Fighting made you feel better didn't it?" Derek asked, Ethan just nodded. "So we spar more often, or we can run and destroy some punching bags. Whatever you need just tell me. I've been exactly where you are and I know it hurts. Just let me help you. Don't throw away your life away grieving him, okay?" Derek crouched down next to him and put his hand on the younger boy's shoulder as the teen looked up at him and nodded. He gave his gaurdian a watery half-smile.

* * *

It was a sunny day when Lydia went to visit Aiden's grave and found Ethan sitting there, talking to the gravestone. Getting closer she realized he wasn't talking, but singing softly to himself.

_Sunny days seem to hurt the most, _

_I wear the pain like a heavy coat,_

_I feel you everywhere I go, _

_I see your smile, I see your face, _

_I hear you laughing in the rain, _

_I still can't believe you're gone _

She put her hand over her mouth and tears leaked from her eyes, hearing the words. Her shoulders started shaking and her heart broke for him. As much as she missed her boyfriend she couldn't even imagine how Ethan felt losing his twin.

_It ain't fair: you died too young, _

_Like the story that had just begun, _

_But death tore the pages all away. _

_God knows how I miss you, _

_All the hell that I've been through, _

_Just knowin' no-one could take your place. _

_An' sometimes I wonder, _

_Who'd you be today? _

His voice broke on the last words and tears soaked his cheeks, his legs had been pulled up to his chest with his arms resting on them, now he buried his face in his arms and broke down.

Lydia couldn't help it, she walked over and sat with him, wrapping her arms around the werewolf. He didn't even flinch when she put her arms around him, of course not she reminded herself, he had to have heard her coming, he knew she was there. He sobbed harder as she rubbed his back, unable to keep her own tears from falling. They sat there and cried for hours, mourning the fallen werewolf.

* * *

A few nights after sitting at the cemetery with Lydia, Ethan couldn't sleep. Derek went to check on him at 3 am only to find he wasn't in bed. He knew the teen was close though, he could smell his pain.

He found the younger man on the roof, staring up at the stars. He sat next to him not saying a word, knowing if he really wanted to talk he would. He didn't have to wait long.

"I'm the worst brother," Ethan said, emotionlessly. Derek raised one eyebrow in surprise, he had no idea where the teen's head was at. "Part of me is mad at him," Ethan clarified, his voice breaking a little this time. Derek nodded, now he understood.

A tear rolled down Ethan's cheek, "I want to hate him. For dying. For leaving me alone." His shoulders shook and he tried desperately to hold himself together.

"That's okay Ethan. It is okay to hate him for leaving you. It's not fair. I know it's not, and you feel bad about it, but you know what? Don't. It's part of losing someone. You're gonna have days when you feel like you can't go on and you're gonna hate him for making you do this alone," Derek told the beta, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. The teen cried harder, struggling to stay quiet, he hated being weak in front of people.

"But you know what?" A voice came from behind them, they turned to see Lydia and Stiles coming up behind them, they turned back around to see Scott and Isaac had jumped up onto the roof in front of them.

It was Lydia who spoke, sitting on Ethan's other side and taking his hand, "As alone as you feel without him. He's still here, he's still looking out for you. And so are all of us. We are all here. We aren't the same as having Aiden here and we know that, but we are still here for you."

Ethan smiled at her and she wiped at his tears, her own filling, he noticed and hugged her. They all sat there on the roof for hours, just enjoying the silence and the comfort of the pack's presence.

* * *

After that night Ethan started talking to everyone more. He still woke up screaming in the middle of the night sometimes and it had Derek and Scott worried, but he was getting better, slowly re-introducing himself into hanging out with the pack.

A few months later they all met up at Derek's loft on a Saturday, just as they had every Saturday for awhile. It was Isaac who noticed they were short one beta werewolf.

"Where's Ethan?" He asked Derek.

"I dropped him off at the cemetery a little while ago," Derek answered simply.

"But it's pack day, doesn't he usually visit Aiden with Lydia on Sundays?" Stiles asked curiously.

"Today is different." Derek responded, not explaining anything further.

"Oh shit," Danny said from the back, he had just gotten an alert on his phone and looked up at the rest of the pack guiltily. "It's his birthday." He said sadly.

"All the more reason he should..." Stiles began only to have his brain catch up with his mouth as he realized, "Oh wait, it should be Aiden's birthday too," he muttered solemnly.

They all packed into Stiles' jeep and Danny's car and went to the cemetery. They all crowded together around Ethan, staring at the gravestone sadly. Ethan didn't say anything. No one did for a long time.

Then Lydia started telling a story of the first time he went to pick her up and he called her only to find out he was at the wrong house. They all laughed a little, even Ethan.

They proceeded to tell stories about Aiden, Ethan eventually pitching in with a few happy ones from their childhood that no one else had heard.

As they went to leave Ethan turned back to the grave one more time, reading the line across the bottom, **_"A loving brother, a loyal wolf, one of the good guys." _**

He smiled sadly and whispered to the stone, "Happy Birthday Bro." And as he turned he could have sworn he heard Aiden's voice on the wind.

Some people would say he's crazy, but he really believed that, as he went to walk away, he heard, "You too baby bro."

**Yes I cried my eyes out writing this but I felt I had to write a tribute for Aiden. I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know. And if you've never heard the song I strongly recommend listening to it. It's amazing.**


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